So we began the roller coaster ride of emotions, last week. In Mexico, the government agency in charge of all wards of the state is called DIF. It stands for something in spanish, but I can't remember it. Once our paperwork (dossier) is sent to Mexico, a committee will meet to determine if we are "approved" to adopt in Mexico. Once approved, they will then match an orphan to the family. But, since we are pursuing these particular children, we will ask specifically for them. Normally, once someone is matched with their child (called getting a referral) they then begin the "loss process". This is when they go through the process to legally terminate parental rights. It can sometimes (often) be a long process while they do this, as often family members are difficult to track down. It also can mean that the parents refuse to terminate rights. It's awful for the adoptive families then, because the referral falls through and they have to start over.
I wanted to find out if the children we are pursuing had started any of their loss paperwork since the agency classified them as "waiting children" on their website. We were SUPER excited to find out that they have had their loss process completed and are fully available! Yay!
BUT, then the roller coaster started heading south. As I was speaking to the caseworker, she mentioned that in the medical report it stated that there should be no other children living in the adoptive home.
WHAT???? I was so sad. We certainly don't meet that qualification. Now, what are we supposed to think? We decided to use this agency specifically because we wanted to pursue these children. We decided to send an email back to the caseworker asking if she'd be willing to contact DIF in regards to that statement. Was it just a "standard protocol" type of statement, or was there a legitimate reason. And, would they possibly consider us? We know it is kind of asking a lot for her to do this, but she said she would.
We're still waiting to hear some results. We know that if DIF comes back and says "No way" then these children were never meant to be part of our family.
But, then we also have to make another difficult decision. In the midst of all the research and paperwork gathering, I got a recommendation for another agency that has a program in Mexico. It's a solid Christian agency that is run more like a ministry than a business. It's very small but also WAY cheaper than Gladney. Like almost 2/3 cheaper. But, they haven't been in business as long and don't have as many contacts as Gladney (which has been around for 120 years). I've heard glowing reviews of them, and spoken personally to the Mexico Caseworker and feel very sure that it's a good agency.
So, if DIF's answer is "no" then we have a big decision to make. Stay with Gladney or switch to the smaller agency- Generations. Of course, we'd be out the $300 Application fee, but we'd save so much in the long run it wouldn't even matter.
So right now, I feel like we're in a holding pattern. I have all my initial documents all signed and ready to hand in to the homestudy agency here in town, but since a few of them are specific to Gladney, I'm hesitant to turn them in just yet. I hate waiting. I feel so unproductive! But, I know God is just using this time to show me that none of this is going to happen on my timetable. Another way of learning to trust Him in the details. Oooo. This is hard.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Who Am I?
My past is haunting me! When I was 18 I legally changed my last name to Bosse. Unfortunately, I am learning that I should have gotten a new birth certificate to go with the court order. Ugh. So after a few hours worth of phone calls Brent and I (and the kids) headed to Reisterstown to Vital Records for an amended birth certificate! Yay! It took 10 minutes! Easy Peasy. (Actually, it makes me nervous HOW easy it was. I hope it's the right thing! LOL!)
While we were there we headed to the other side of the building to the Criminal Justice Information System (CJIS) for fingerprints and to pay to start our criminal background check. I was giddy with excitement. It's a shame that every person that worked in the offices that day were cranky, nasty people. Oh, well. They weren't going to spoil our joy! I smiled like an idiot to every person in there, anyway!
While we were there we headed to the other side of the building to the Criminal Justice Information System (CJIS) for fingerprints and to pay to start our criminal background check. I was giddy with excitement. It's a shame that every person that worked in the offices that day were cranky, nasty people. Oh, well. They weren't going to spoil our joy! I smiled like an idiot to every person in there, anyway!
How it all started... cont.
Once we came home from Mexico we felt like we could again devote our minds to the leading of the Holy Spirit in regards to adoption. Was He still leading us to this? Some days I felt so sure He was. Then other days I doubted the call. I didn't trust my own feelings. This had to be His doing. He had to make the puzzle pieces fall into place.
Honestly, I wish that I could just write that I stepped forward into this adventure with loads of faith and confidence in what God was calling us to do. But, unfortunately, I have had my ups and downs with my lack of faith. (Just trying to keep it real!) Thankfully, God has given me a very steady and perceptive husband who can help me sort through all the emotions and figure our where my heart was not submitted to God.
Strangely, all the things that would hold me back normally (such as the fact that I'd be a mother to SEVEN, one with possible special needs, how would I cook for so many, how would I have time for so many, how would I homeschool so many, I'm not patient enough, I am lazy, I don't know how we'll have the money...) were the things I TOTALLY had a peace about. It doesn't make sense. But isn't that just like Him? He loves not making sense!
Weeks passed. I started making phone calls, finding agencies that have programs in Mexico. (Less than 5!) Two of them are closed to new families. One other I called and it failed the "warm and fuzzy test". (You know, the completely objective one...). Gladney Adoption Agency is the agency we really liked and also the one with the pictures of these precious children we'd seen months ago. I called and had a 2 hour conversation with the Mexico Caseworker. She was extremely friendly and answered tons of questions.
We really felt like God was calling us to these particular children, so that meant we needed to go through Gladney.
After two weeks of sorting through questions and praying tons, we finally decided to send in our Application and Fee. Whew.
Then came a flurry of emails with tons of attachments. LOTS of documents to fill out, gather and authenticate.
Plus we needed to find a homestudy agency in our state that is Hague Accredited (international adoption law certification). God is so good! He led me right to a place here in town- Global Adoption Services! The lady, Judy, is super sweet and must have incredible patience since I've plagued her with phone calls and emails ever since the first contact!
(Anyone not interested in paperwork organization can zone out here....)
I got myself a 21 pocket accordian file and spent several hours printing, setting up folders and deciding what document to put where. Then more email attachments came and I had to redo it all! LOL! So far the system is working...I've kept it simple. There are 3 sets of documents.
1. Homestudy
2. Gladney Agency
3. Dossier
(I think I'll end up with a fourth when we have to submit a bunch of stuff to immigration, but I'm not there yet, so I'm not trying to plan too far ahead.)
So basically I have a "to do" folder and a "done" folder for each of the 3 sets of documents. Also, I set up a blue colored folder for any current documents that are ready for notorization. This is easy to spot and I don't have to dig through the pile of docs in each "to do" folder.
Oh, and both agencies included a checklist of documents to turn in, but most of the documents need additional documents attached to them. To keep all of it straight I made my own list on the outside of the manilla file folder. That way I don't have to flip through the file to find the checklist. It's so fun to see a bunch of items crossed off! Still a ways to go though!
Honestly, I wish that I could just write that I stepped forward into this adventure with loads of faith and confidence in what God was calling us to do. But, unfortunately, I have had my ups and downs with my lack of faith. (Just trying to keep it real!) Thankfully, God has given me a very steady and perceptive husband who can help me sort through all the emotions and figure our where my heart was not submitted to God.
Strangely, all the things that would hold me back normally (such as the fact that I'd be a mother to SEVEN, one with possible special needs, how would I cook for so many, how would I have time for so many, how would I homeschool so many, I'm not patient enough, I am lazy, I don't know how we'll have the money...) were the things I TOTALLY had a peace about. It doesn't make sense. But isn't that just like Him? He loves not making sense!
Weeks passed. I started making phone calls, finding agencies that have programs in Mexico. (Less than 5!) Two of them are closed to new families. One other I called and it failed the "warm and fuzzy test". (You know, the completely objective one...). Gladney Adoption Agency is the agency we really liked and also the one with the pictures of these precious children we'd seen months ago. I called and had a 2 hour conversation with the Mexico Caseworker. She was extremely friendly and answered tons of questions.
We really felt like God was calling us to these particular children, so that meant we needed to go through Gladney.
After two weeks of sorting through questions and praying tons, we finally decided to send in our Application and Fee. Whew.
Then came a flurry of emails with tons of attachments. LOTS of documents to fill out, gather and authenticate.
Plus we needed to find a homestudy agency in our state that is Hague Accredited (international adoption law certification). God is so good! He led me right to a place here in town- Global Adoption Services! The lady, Judy, is super sweet and must have incredible patience since I've plagued her with phone calls and emails ever since the first contact!
(Anyone not interested in paperwork organization can zone out here....)
I got myself a 21 pocket accordian file and spent several hours printing, setting up folders and deciding what document to put where. Then more email attachments came and I had to redo it all! LOL! So far the system is working...I've kept it simple. There are 3 sets of documents.
1. Homestudy
2. Gladney Agency
3. Dossier
(I think I'll end up with a fourth when we have to submit a bunch of stuff to immigration, but I'm not there yet, so I'm not trying to plan too far ahead.)
So basically I have a "to do" folder and a "done" folder for each of the 3 sets of documents. Also, I set up a blue colored folder for any current documents that are ready for notorization. This is easy to spot and I don't have to dig through the pile of docs in each "to do" folder.
Oh, and both agencies included a checklist of documents to turn in, but most of the documents need additional documents attached to them. To keep all of it straight I made my own list on the outside of the manilla file folder. That way I don't have to flip through the file to find the checklist. It's so fun to see a bunch of items crossed off! Still a ways to go though!
Monday, November 9, 2009
How it all started...
Well, here we go! A blog just to document this amazing, crazy, completely humbling adventure that God has just begun with us.... International Adoption.
Let me start at the beginning...I apologize for the epic sized post but there's been a lot happening!
Two years ago (2007) our lives started becoming intertwined with Mexico. Chad, a missionary our church decided to support, came to speak to our congregation. This spurred interest in the young men of our church to go to Mexico to help Chad build a ministry base house. I volunteered to plan the trip, which was totally foreign to me. I learned a ton about researching, about Mexico, about international travel and laws... and in the process started to fall in love with this country. Brent traveled to Mexico on that trip and loved it. I fought with some jealousy with not being able to go, but over time, God helped me get over it.
Then, two years later, in June of 2009, they returned to Mexico. Their trip this time was not as physical, but much more outreach and relational. This had a huge impact on Brent. He called several times and I knew I was speaking to someone who had undergone a deep spiritual change.
Meanwhile, I'd been going through a horrible spiritual funk. (I can't even think of a better word.) I was mildly depressed, slightly in rebellion to my husband, and disgusted by my utter lack of devotion and love for the Lord. I felt so distant from Him and even became plagued with doubt over my own salvation.
The night before Brent was due home from the trip, all the emotions and distress came to the breaking point. I cried and sobbed my eyes out. I prayed from a desperation that I've never had before. I begged him to shake me out of my apathy. I couldn't conjure up the love or desire. I didn't want just head knowledge with minimal love. I wanted to love Him with all of my being. Nothing held back. No matter the cost. No matter the pain. Even though it was terrifying to get to that place of surrender, it was real. The most real I'd ever been with Him.
And then. Then! Within 24 hours God flipped my world upside down. First, He mercifully gave me peace that I couldn't explain. Then, Brent came home. We talked over a bunch of issues that we'd been dealing with. The next day God plopped me in a Sunday School Class where He was totally speaking directly to my heart. Could I give up everything for Him? Was He worth it? I couldn't stop crying in class and was a blubbery mess, but full of thankfulness the whole day. When Brent and I finally had a chance to talk more, he said that we NEEDED to go to Mexico together as a family. We didn't know how we were going to manage that financially, but God was telling us to just go.
Then we talked about this crazy comment he'd made to me on the phone while in Mexico. About Adoption. "What would you think about adopting from Mexico?"
"Huh? I've got my hands full. Four is plenty. I have never had any desire to adopt. Great for other people. Not for me." Those were all the things I WOULD have thought....Except I didn't. I don't know why, but none of them crossed my mind. Instead, I said, "okay".
Life got busy. Planning a family trip to Mexico is time consuming so I didn't give much more careful thought about his comment. But one night while Brent was working late I was bored and typed "adoption" into the google search box. Sifting through the bazillions of posts, somehow God finally landed me on one particular website with pictures of these absolutely stunning children waiting for a family in Mexico. I was captivated. I couldn't stop looking at them. There were plenty of other children, but my eyes were only for them.
And then my heart just broke. A group of siblings who were lonely. Alone. I read somewhere on the site that Mexican people are very open to adopting children. But, like Americans, the majority only want infants or young toddlers. If they are part of a sibling group it is near impossible to find them a home. So they stay in an orphanage. Surrounded by people, but still alone. Not belonging to anyone. My heart broke more. It just wasn't right. Children were meant to be in families.
Brent walked in the door to find me surrounded with tear- filled tissues and puffy eyes. We talked, I cried, days passed. I wondered... Is God wanting us to adopt?.... We can't get overly emotional over these pictures.... It can't be an emtional response.... So we distanced ourselves from them. I tried to put it out of my mind. After all, I had the biggest trip I'd ever planned to tackle. And we did. God took the hype away from both of us. We became more objective. We prayed. We talked. We prayed more.
Then God took us to Mexico. Oh my. How God used this trip to intensify the change He had promised to me that desperate night back in June. It wasn't the beginning of "the change" but He did use it to show me Himself in a totally new way. I learned so much of the Holy Spirit and what it means to be filled and how to walk WITH Him while in Mexico. And the funny thing is, I hardly even thought about adoption while in Mexico.
And, in the midst of all of it, Brent and I fell in love with this strange country. I can't even explain it. It felt like home. The weird thing is that the city felt like home. And I am NOT a city lover. I loved the Sierra (mountains), but the city has continued to have a strong pull on both of our hearts. I still don't know what God is doing with that whole feeling. Time will tell....
I'll continue in another post.
Let me start at the beginning...I apologize for the epic sized post but there's been a lot happening!
Two years ago (2007) our lives started becoming intertwined with Mexico. Chad, a missionary our church decided to support, came to speak to our congregation. This spurred interest in the young men of our church to go to Mexico to help Chad build a ministry base house. I volunteered to plan the trip, which was totally foreign to me. I learned a ton about researching, about Mexico, about international travel and laws... and in the process started to fall in love with this country. Brent traveled to Mexico on that trip and loved it. I fought with some jealousy with not being able to go, but over time, God helped me get over it.
Then, two years later, in June of 2009, they returned to Mexico. Their trip this time was not as physical, but much more outreach and relational. This had a huge impact on Brent. He called several times and I knew I was speaking to someone who had undergone a deep spiritual change.
Meanwhile, I'd been going through a horrible spiritual funk. (I can't even think of a better word.) I was mildly depressed, slightly in rebellion to my husband, and disgusted by my utter lack of devotion and love for the Lord. I felt so distant from Him and even became plagued with doubt over my own salvation.
The night before Brent was due home from the trip, all the emotions and distress came to the breaking point. I cried and sobbed my eyes out. I prayed from a desperation that I've never had before. I begged him to shake me out of my apathy. I couldn't conjure up the love or desire. I didn't want just head knowledge with minimal love. I wanted to love Him with all of my being. Nothing held back. No matter the cost. No matter the pain. Even though it was terrifying to get to that place of surrender, it was real. The most real I'd ever been with Him.
And then. Then! Within 24 hours God flipped my world upside down. First, He mercifully gave me peace that I couldn't explain. Then, Brent came home. We talked over a bunch of issues that we'd been dealing with. The next day God plopped me in a Sunday School Class where He was totally speaking directly to my heart. Could I give up everything for Him? Was He worth it? I couldn't stop crying in class and was a blubbery mess, but full of thankfulness the whole day. When Brent and I finally had a chance to talk more, he said that we NEEDED to go to Mexico together as a family. We didn't know how we were going to manage that financially, but God was telling us to just go.
Then we talked about this crazy comment he'd made to me on the phone while in Mexico. About Adoption. "What would you think about adopting from Mexico?"
"Huh? I've got my hands full. Four is plenty. I have never had any desire to adopt. Great for other people. Not for me." Those were all the things I WOULD have thought....Except I didn't. I don't know why, but none of them crossed my mind. Instead, I said, "okay".
Life got busy. Planning a family trip to Mexico is time consuming so I didn't give much more careful thought about his comment. But one night while Brent was working late I was bored and typed "adoption" into the google search box. Sifting through the bazillions of posts, somehow God finally landed me on one particular website with pictures of these absolutely stunning children waiting for a family in Mexico. I was captivated. I couldn't stop looking at them. There were plenty of other children, but my eyes were only for them.
And then my heart just broke. A group of siblings who were lonely. Alone. I read somewhere on the site that Mexican people are very open to adopting children. But, like Americans, the majority only want infants or young toddlers. If they are part of a sibling group it is near impossible to find them a home. So they stay in an orphanage. Surrounded by people, but still alone. Not belonging to anyone. My heart broke more. It just wasn't right. Children were meant to be in families.
Brent walked in the door to find me surrounded with tear- filled tissues and puffy eyes. We talked, I cried, days passed. I wondered... Is God wanting us to adopt?.... We can't get overly emotional over these pictures.... It can't be an emtional response.... So we distanced ourselves from them. I tried to put it out of my mind. After all, I had the biggest trip I'd ever planned to tackle. And we did. God took the hype away from both of us. We became more objective. We prayed. We talked. We prayed more.
Then God took us to Mexico. Oh my. How God used this trip to intensify the change He had promised to me that desperate night back in June. It wasn't the beginning of "the change" but He did use it to show me Himself in a totally new way. I learned so much of the Holy Spirit and what it means to be filled and how to walk WITH Him while in Mexico. And the funny thing is, I hardly even thought about adoption while in Mexico.
And, in the midst of all of it, Brent and I fell in love with this strange country. I can't even explain it. It felt like home. The weird thing is that the city felt like home. And I am NOT a city lover. I loved the Sierra (mountains), but the city has continued to have a strong pull on both of our hearts. I still don't know what God is doing with that whole feeling. Time will tell....
I'll continue in another post.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Elsie Dinsmore
This is a very cool story!
A year ago, Caitlin ran a 5K race. She solicited donations and ended up winning a low rider bike since she was the highest donating youth. The bike was not something she was going to ever use, so we told her she could sell it on craigslist.com and use the money to buy the $100 Elsie Dinsmore doll that she has been drooling over for a LONG time. Months and Months passed and that bike just would not sell.
Finally, we got an email from Chad Rizzuto, the missionary in Mexico. He let us know that Karla, Caitlin's pen pal in the Copper Canyon, needed a computer for school but didn't have all the money for it. Caitlin decided to raise money from her friends and family to help out. Also, she agreed that she should relist her bike and use the money towards the computer. I wasn't too hopeful since I'd tried to sell the bike for months with no success. Would you believe that I had a buyer for that bike within 24 hours?!!!!! Of course, you would! That's just how God is! LOL!
So, Karla got her computer, and Cait was left with the joy of doing something sacrificially for someone else. Still, I knew her desire was for this Elsie doll, but we wanted her to earn the money on her own. We don't give an allowance, so any money earned is above and beyond her regular work. $100 is a lot for her to earn when our jobs pay $.50 to $1.00! Amazingly, we were able to find a new doll for $20 cheaper on Ebay! And she was able to earn, was gifted, and sold her gerbils for just the amount she needed! She has really appreciated this doll so much more with all the effort that went into getting her. She sees the doll as a blessing from God!
Pioneer Girl Camp
This past school year Wendy Bynion and I lead the Explorers group at Pioneer Clubs. It was a year full of fun and stretching and growing for me. I really love the girls and my heart soared when I could see the growth in their walk with the Lord. There were difficult moments and some tears shed (we have a lot of estrogen flowing in that room!) but God used each opportunity as a way of reshaping my heart to resemble Him more. Even though I'm not doing Explorers this year (our family is taking a year off), I know that I have wonderful relationships with a core group of girls that are really becoming passionate for Christ. It is so exciting to see! I continually pray that He would draw them closer and closer to Him.
Here are some silly pictures of Camp'09.
Here are some silly pictures of Camp'09.
Small Group Half Day of Prayer
In small groups we have been doing the Navigators' 2:7 Discipleship series. We finished book 2 this spring and as part of the lesson it has you spend a half day of prayer. Brent and I had done this 2 years before when we went through the class the first time and I LOVED it. I am so glad I had the opportunity to do it again!
Everyone met at our house at 8:30am and spread out through the yard and house for several hours worth of individual prayer time. Wow. I cannot tell you the life-changing event that that this has been both times now. The only problem is that it is too short!
It is amazing how God continually revealed Himself during the hours. I enjoyed so much the devoted time to praise and thank and basically just revel in all His glorious attributes. Then, the most life changing part is during confession time. I am so grateful that He is teaching me to hate sin like He hates sin. I am too often blind to it in my own heart, though.
During this extended period of time it is nice to actually have the time to let Him put thought after thought into my mind. It is all His mercy! He wants sweet fellowship with me so he reminds me of the things that cause there to be a barrier to that fellowship! Oh, how the praise starts spontaneously flowing all over again, then!
Unfortunately, my time of intercessory prayer was cut short because I took too long on the other aspects, but intercessory prayer is what I do most of in my daily time. I was so thirsty for undivided attention to praise and confession that I know that's what He wanted most of all.
After we all met back at the house we went to lunch at Tidewater Grill in Havre de Grace where we shared the ways God met us during our individual times of prayer.
God is good. I need to do this more often!
Botany and Chicken Pox
In looking ahead to a busy and rigorous workload this upcoming school year, I decided to try to get our entire science curriculum completed during the summer. We haven't been successful (it's mid September and we still have to finish 1 chapter!), but we got the bulk of it finished.
The topic was an in-depth study of Botany using Apologia Elementary Exploring Creation Through Botany by Jeannie Fulbright. We've used 3 other of her books and have absolutely loved them. They are a full year of one field of science that allow you to really delve deep into the topic and know much more than you would if you jumped from subject to subject for each chapter as in a textbook.
Here are a few pictures of our Flower Disection. As you can tell, there are also a lot of spots all over the kids faces. That's because everyone got Chicken Pox in April! Melanie's family had the Pox, so we had a Pox party in hopes that our kids would get them naturally since we'd opted out of the vaccine. It worked! Cait and Grant had them the worst but they were all troopers and it wasn't nearly as horrible as I remember it when I had them at age 13! Benadryl also eased the itchies- thank goodness!
The topic was an in-depth study of Botany using Apologia Elementary Exploring Creation Through Botany by Jeannie Fulbright. We've used 3 other of her books and have absolutely loved them. They are a full year of one field of science that allow you to really delve deep into the topic and know much more than you would if you jumped from subject to subject for each chapter as in a textbook.
Here are a few pictures of our Flower Disection. As you can tell, there are also a lot of spots all over the kids faces. That's because everyone got Chicken Pox in April! Melanie's family had the Pox, so we had a Pox party in hopes that our kids would get them naturally since we'd opted out of the vaccine. It worked! Cait and Grant had them the worst but they were all troopers and it wasn't nearly as horrible as I remember it when I had them at age 13! Benadryl also eased the itchies- thank goodness!
Trautman Family Trip
For Dad T's 60th birthday the whole Trautman clan congregated in a HUGE house in Virginia Beach. We had a wonderful time. The weather was beautiful and the kids even got in the water even though I think it was too cold!
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