I just happened to be scrolling through some back posts of my blog and I suddenly had a major REALITY CHECK! I had written a long post back in December that listed each of the legal steps we needed to progress through in order to bring our chicos home. The last time I remember looking at it we were at step 3.
Well, I just noticed suddenly we are at STEP SEVEN! Oh, my word! How did that happen? I mean, Step 10 is- Meet Children! We're almost there! I feel in shock! I mean, I know it in my head, but just now it really hit my heart!
I am not an overly emotional person, but lately I am really starting to have a full range of emotions! I am vacillating between total "I can't think straight because I'm so stinkin' excited" to "Oh, Lord, this is so much bigger than what I can handle. Are you absolutely sure you will give me strength? Cause I am not so sure."
It is very easy to let myself go down the mental trail of all the "what-ifs". They run the gamut all the way from, "Will we have enough money to stay in country a month", to "What if we have 3 kids with severe RAD and will our family be destroyed by it" to "WHAT IN THE WORLD ARE WE DOING?"
But I know that is completely giving in to Satan's desire to get me to doubt God's sufficiency. So lately I'm having to do a lot of "taking my thoughts captive" and "renewing my mind". I'm having to listen more carefully to the quiet whispers of the Holy Spirit since our life is such a whirlwind of activity and I am easily distracted. I'm so thankful too, for a hubby who keeps me grounded and yanks me back to truth when I stray.
I'm not really sure why I wrote all this out, but somehow it has been therapeutic to get it out of my mind so now I can move on! LOL!