Happy Thanksgiving

This year, our day is going to be quieter than usual. We usually celebrate at my mother in law's but scheduling demanded that we move our giant family gathering to Saturday. So today we are having a quiet day as a family. Actually, it won't be totally quiet, since my sister and brother in law and their 4 children will be joining us for dinner. (It's comical to me that I consider 6 more people a quiet family gathering. Compared to the number of people at my mother in law's house on thanksgiving, today is NOTHING!LOL I love every minute of the chaos, though!)

Anyway, the relative quietness is allowing some thoughts to swirl around in my mind, so I'll share them with you...

As I lugged bags of groceries in the house last night....I thought about how many children have never even been to a grocery store.

As I hulled the 19 pound turkey from the fridge and began the roaster... I thought about the children who will rejoice because they found some rotten food scraps in a dumpster.

As I peeled potatos and listened to the radio playing worship music... I thought about the little ones who have never heard the words of grace and truth for which they may give thanks to their Creator.

As I smelled the pumpkin pie baking and turkey roasting....I thought about the smells that the least of these must inhale as they play in the ghetto streets.

As I set the table with my best linens and dishes, ready for loved ones to enjoy.... I thought about the loneliness of the orphan and widow and whispered prayers of comfort for our "almost" children in Mexico and the ones yet to join us in Colombia.

As I swept the floor, again, sliding a few hidden toys from beneath the sofa... I thought about grace, and how God continually cleanses me from the dirt I keep piling up in my heart.

As my daughter fooled around playing songs of thanksgiving on the piano... I thought of how I live a life of ease and blessing and even in my gratitude, I wrestle with whether this is right.

As I listen to a preacher on the radio speak of the gospel... I think about Christians in far away places that are being beaten right now because of their unwavering faith in Christ.

As I take a minute to glance at a few sale ads for tomorrow....I think about how we keep trying to find happiness in all the wrong places. Christ is the only one who will satisfy.

As I tidy the bookshelf that is a disorderly mess of Sunday School papers, scattered Bibles, and church bulletins.... I think about the Christians who are reading God's words on scraps of smuggled paper in order not to be caught.

I am so thankful for this quiet morning where God invaded my thoughts amidst the holiday preparations. How can I not praise Him?

Psalm 100

A psalm. For giving grateful praise.  Shout for joy to the LORD, all the earth.
 Worship the LORD with gladness;
   come before him with joyful songs.
  Know that the LORD is God.
   It is he who made us, and we are his;
   we are his people, the sheep of his pasture.
  Enter his gates with thanksgiving
   and his courts with praise;
   give thanks to him and praise his name.
 For the LORD is good and his love endures forever;
   his faithfulness continues through all generations.

Pioneer Girl Camp

This past school year Wendy Bynion and I lead the Explorers group at Pioneer Clubs. It was a year full of fun and stretching and growing for me. I really love the girls and my heart soared when I could see the growth in their walk with the Lord. There were difficult moments and some tears shed (we have a lot of estrogen flowing in that room!) but God used each opportunity as a way of reshaping my heart to resemble Him more. Even though I'm not doing Explorers this year (our family is taking a year off), I know that I have wonderful relationships with a core group of girls that are really becoming passionate for Christ. It is so exciting to see! I continually pray that He would draw them closer and closer to Him.

Here are some silly pictures of Camp'09.

Small Group Half Day of Prayer

In small groups we have been doing the Navigators' 2:7 Discipleship series. We finished book 2 this spring and as part of the lesson it has you spend a half day of prayer. Brent and I had done this 2 years before when we went through the class the first time and I LOVED it. I am so glad I had the opportunity to do it again!
Everyone met at our house at 8:30am and spread out through the yard and house for several hours worth of individual prayer time. Wow. I cannot tell you the life-changing event that that this has been both times now. The only problem is that it is too short!

It is amazing how God continually revealed Himself during the hours. I enjoyed so much the devoted time to praise and thank and basically just revel in all His glorious attributes. Then, the most life changing part is during confession time. I am so grateful that He is teaching me to hate sin like He hates sin. I am too often blind to it in my own heart, though.

During this extended period of time it is nice to actually have the time to let Him put thought after thought into my mind. It is all His mercy! He wants sweet fellowship with me so he reminds me of the things that cause there to be a barrier to that fellowship! Oh, how the praise starts spontaneously flowing all over again, then!

Unfortunately, my time of intercessory prayer was cut short because I took too long on the other aspects, but intercessory prayer is what I do most of in my daily time. I was so thirsty for undivided attention to praise and confession that I know that's what He wanted most of all.

After we all met back at the house we went to lunch at Tidewater Grill in Havre de Grace where we shared the ways God met us during our individual times of prayer.

God is good. I need to do this more often!

Health Update 2
Well, after a long wait, I finally had a doc appt today. Basically, it wasn't too helpful. My 24 hour heart monitor only showed 1 pvc even though I felt it and pushed the button 274 times. So my doc isn't sure what is going on there. The echo showed that I have a mild mitral valve regurgitation (not prolapse). The mitral valve doesn't close all the way so some of the blood trickles through. But, she said that I shouldn't have palpitations because of that. It is unrelated to the palpatations...

Next step is to go to a cardiologist, however she said that the cardiologist will probably want to put me on beta blockers. But, beta blockers lower your blood pressure and I already have low blood pressure issues, so I'm not going to do that. I can't be passing out with 4 kids around- can you imagine?!!!! I'll probably go to the cardiologist to see whether he has any other ideas or tests, but as of the reports, I have a mostly healthy heart. That's great, but I still wish they could have discovered some reason for the palpatations. They are getting pretty annoying.

Health Update

Most of you already know about this, but for those that don't....

Three weeks ago I suddenly started having pretty severe heart palpitations. They were happening without any consistent regularity- every 20 seconds, then stop for 1/2 hour, then 5 minutes apart... crazy. I felt like I was timing contractions during labor!

After a few days of this I started feeling kind of panicked so I went to the doctor who did a quick EKG in the office. She showed that I have "a normal abnormality" (that just cracks me up!) to my heartbeat in addition to whatever this palpitation thing is. She gave me a referral for a 24 hour holter monitor (basically a 24 hour EKG) and an Echocardiogram and bloodwork to check my thyroid.

But, the next day I started having some pain in my chest- which really started flipping me out. So, we headed to the ER where they found I was "throwing PVC's". Basically the ventricle of my heart is contracting prematurely before it is fully filled with blood, so my body is not getting a full pump. She said many people live quite normally with PVC's- whew! My thyroid bloodwork came back negative and so did the results for a Pulmonary Embolism- which I am soooo glad I didn't know was an option in the beginning! That's scary stuff!

Anyway, this week I had my 24 hour heart monitor and my echo. I will get the rest of the results back next week. I'll keep you all posted! Thanks for praying for me through all this! I look forward to getting something resolved with it since it is quite annoying to have it constantly happening!

Rewind to My Birthday

Ok, I need to go back to March when I celebrated my birthday.

Family tradition- birthday person gets to pick their choice of restaurant.

This year we were heading in the car down to BelAir going back and forth over which restaurant I wanted to go to. Outback- the old standby, Chili's- the kids' favorite, McDonalds-not an option, but Quinn wouldn't give up...when I laughed about how fun it would be to take the kids to Sakura's- but way too expensive. Well, Brent- who doesn't do the bills- wouldn't let money be a factor, and pressed for us to go. Then, on a whim, we called my parents to see if they wanted to join us since it is always more fun to go to a Japanese restaurant with a group!
At Sakura's they cook your food right in front of you and perform an awesome "show" as they do it. We had gone with our old neighbors, Herbert and Jessie Yee, when Jake was a baby and it was great!
Mom, Dad and Abbie, Sam, and Jordan met us there and we had a BLAST! We were all a little slap happy and silly over the whole spontaneity of the trip. The best part is when the cook tosses bits of chicken or shrimp into the air and you are SUPPOSED to catch them in your mouth. He went around the table and everyone else did great except me, of course! He tried 3 or 4 times and each time I instinctively shut my eyes and it hit me in various places all over the face!

Tiff's 2008 Reading

Books I've Read and Books To Read

GirlTalk- C. Mahaney (1/08)
The Parables- Kistemaker (1/08) didn't care for this one
The Parables of Jesus- Boice (2/08)
The Holiness of God- Sproul (3/08)
Shopping for Time- C. Mahaney (3/08)
Romancing Your Child's heart- Swan(4/08)
Rebekah's Diary- Pearl (4/08)
Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain- Edwards (4/08)
The Power of a Praying Parent- Omartian
Humility- CJ Mahaney (finished this spring)
Heaven-Acorn
Christian Beliefs- Grudem
Age of Opportunity- P. Tripp
Instructing a Child's Heart- T. Tripp (Summer '08)
Everyday Talk (Summer '08)
Purpose Driven Youth Ministry-Field (Fall '08)
Respectable Sins- (Fall "08)
Don't Waste Your Life- Piper

Humility- Part 3

Beyond Daily Routines
Now, I'm starting to sweat under the magnitude of my internal fixation! I am so disgusted with my selfishness and pride! It is my first and often only response!

Ok, the other parts of the book were overwhelming enough.This next chapter had both heavy and light recommendations in it. It focuses a lot on study of doctrine in order to see clearly who God is and in turn, who I am. Normally, this would have overwhelmed me because I am not a "deep, intellectual" thinker (although Melanie is dragging me into higher level thinking! LOL!)

Thankfully, several years ago I was blessed to have a formal time of mentoring with Sherry McCurley and we studied doctrine for a while. I didn't realize how much it helped until I read the chapter and I actually UNDERSTOOD all the big words like omniscient and justification and perseverance. I would really recommend that you would take the time to have a basic understanding of reformed doctrine. It helps to be able to evaluate false and heretical teachings that are permeating the evangelical church these days.

Part 1
1. Study the Attributes of God
-more specifically the "incommunicable" attributes of God. I had no idea what that meant so I'm glad he defined it a bit! They are the attributes God doesn't share with us. For examble: God is infinite, omnipresent, self-existent, and self-efficient)
- As I study all God is (and also all we are not!) we become increasingly aware of the distance between ourselves and God, and in turn, more fully appreciate humility
- Psalm 139:6
-Read Wayne Grudem's Systematic Theology or the abridged version called Bible Doctrine

2. Study the doctrines of Grace
- (such as election, calling, justification, perseverance)
-They leave no room for self-congratulation or self- glorification
-Election- God planned my salvation so I can't boast that I've done anything
-Calling- God called me. Our calling on Him was preceeded and made possible by His calling us.
-Justification- I am declared righteous based on the perfect performance of Jesus
-Perseverance- I will persevere in my faith until death not due to my own strength but because Jesus is holding me tightly in His hands and promises not to let go (What's the verse about "He will not lose any of His chosen?) I was acutely aware of this during my miscarriage. God didn't allow me to succumb to despair even when I wanted to. I've never felt His "holding" in such a real way before. I can't even explain it other than to say it was like I was placed in a "force field" and even though the arrows of doubt and despair were being shot at me He was warding them off FOR me. I did absolutely nothing. I couldn't and He knew that and stood in my stead for me during that time of weakness. It was so real that I could almost reach out and touch it.
-Read Saved by Grace by Anthony Hoekema

3. Study the Doctrines of Sin
- Read John Owen's Sin and Temptation
-Read The Enemy Within by Kris Lundgard. I read this last year and I'd have to place this in my top 10 "Life-changing Books" category. I had never understood ways of the flesh, the devil and the world. And, as any soldier knows, you need to understand the enemy's tactics in order to effectively fight and defeat them. This book teaches you the tactics of our three enemies!
-Study them to know how to guard against being "hardened by the deceitfulness of sin" (Heb. 3:13)
- When we're hardened by sin, grace is no longer amazing.
- This section had so much good stuff in it that I'd have to just rewrite it all here in order to say it so well. Just read the book instead!

Part 2
Knowledge of these is not enough, though.
Application of truth and obedience is the only way we will be liberated from the power from the sin of pride.

Part 3
Unique Suggestions!
1. Play golf- In CJ's opinion, you'll get much experience with handling other people laughing at you!
2. Laugh often and laugh often at yourself!
I liked this quote by Lindvall, "A proud man cannot laugh because he must watch his dignity... A poor and happy man laughs heartily because he gives no serious attention to his ego."

Humility- Part 2

Glorifying God at the End of the Day

The end of the day gives me an opportunity to cultivate humilty, weaken pride, and sense God's pleasure.

1. Avoiding Cosmic Plagiarism
- Plagiarism- taking another person's words or ideas and calling them your own
- Take the time each night to transfer all glory to God for any blessings
- Ascribe glory to no man- me included!
-Deflect other people's praise off me to him throughout the day
2. Biblical Sleep
- View it as a gift from God
- Those who neglect this gift will inevitably suffer consequences
- Sleep reminds me of my dependence on Him
- sleep is an act of faith. I have to trust that He is my sustainer

I find that I am so tired at the end of the day that I just want to sleep. Yet, I want to do all for the Glory of God too, so it seems I need to "renew my mind" on the topic of sleep. I need to go to bed at a decent hour in order for me to have time to ruminate on all the ways I can ascribe glory to God from throughout the day. And, so that I can get up early enough to have time with the Lord in a mentally coherent manner. Oh, how my laziness gets the best of me!

I really like his comments on deflecting other people's praise to me toward God. I seem to always forget to do this, and instead of being a witness to others, I greedily or unconsciously take the praise for myself. In a sense, plagiarising!

Humility- Part 1

This year I have been overwhelmingly convicted about humility. So since God has placed this in my heart I decided to spend this year slowly reading, studying, praying and, hopefully, practicing humility.
In an effort to connect with Caitlin, I read Carolyn Mahaney's excellent book Girl Talk. In there she mentions that even if I totally mess up stuff as a mom, if I show humility by confessing my failures to my daughter and to God quickly, I will do great things for our relationship. So I'm holding on to that fact and getting serious about pride in my heart.

I am starting by reading CJ Mahaney's book called Humility, True Greatness. So far it is excellent. The first part of the book is full of explanation of what humility is and is not. But now in the latter part of the book he is speaking of practical ways to combat pride and grow in humility. So I am going to post a series of my study notes here so I can refer to them.

Humility workout for the AM
1. Preach the gospel to myself each morning
- "How can anyone be arrogant when he stands beside the cross?" Don Carson
- I had read Jerry Bridges' books where he focuses on "how" to do this so I feel like I already have an understanding of this. I now just need to remember to "DO" it!
2. Begin my day by acknowledging my dependence on God, my need for God and my confidence in God.
- Be on the offensive with the battle of my flesh
- speak truth to myself instead of listening to the lies of my flesh
3. Begin my day by expressing gratefulness to God
-How alert and perceptive of God's mercies am I? Of His provision, presence, kindness, grace?
4. Practice spiritual disciplines
- Prayer
-Study of God's Word
-Worship
5. Seize my commute (or in my case, mundane moments or down time) to memorize and meditate on scripture.
- don't waste my time
-When and where can I implement this? I don't feel like I have much down time. I need to be constantly looking for this!
6.Cast my cares on Him
-The humble are generally care free
-When I experience anxiety, the root issue is that I'm trying to be self sufficient and independent of God
- By casting my cares on Him I am acknowledging my need for Him to transform me
-Don't expect my hour devotion time in the morning to sustain me throughout the day. My pride gets in the way and resists Him
-Reflect on the fact that all my "cares" are provided by God for the sole purpose of cultivating humility in me and dependence on Him. So don't be surprised when they come!

Ordnance Museum

This past fall Jake and I were able to sneak out for a "Mommy date". After a fun meal at McDonalds (his restaurant of choice) we headed to Aberdeen Proving Grounds to the Ordnance Museum. I was a little nervous since I'd never been there by myself. I did end up going through the "restricted" gate, but the guard was very nice and gave me directions to get to the correct entrance. We got lost there too, but a nice truck driver in a Frito Lay truck showed me the way!
All around, it was an adventure!

We roamed around the grounds admiring all the various tanks and rockets. About as much as I understood was "Ooo, look at the big green one, or Oh, boy, it's tall"! Jake didn't care though. He was happy just to have some one-on-one time.

Inside the museum we saw lots of weapons and other gear that army men have used in the past.


Actually we both were pretty bored and we were both relieved to get to the small gift shop. I think we were in there longer than the whole time we spent outdoors and indoors! After MUCH indecision and lots of Mommy input, he decided on a small green army pouch to play dress ups with.

Books I read in 2007

• A Cricket in Times Square
• Enjoying the Closeness of God
• 23 Minutes in Hell
• Feminine Appeal
• Puppies for Dummies
• The Heavenly Man
• When I Don't Desire God
• The Enemy Within-- Excellent, Lifechanging book!
• Elsie Dinsmore Vol 1
• Being a Girl who Serves
• Desiring God
• Jane Eyre 7/16/07
• Thoughts for Young Men
• Secrets of the Vine
• The Tinker's Daughter
• Stepping Heavenward
• Evaluating Writing
• Reading Strands
• The Writer's Jungle
• Battlefield of the Mind
• For the Children's Sake
• The Well Trained Mind
• Organizing From the Inside Out
• When People are Big and God is small
• Age of Opportunity

Feeling Thankful

I have felt so grateful to God for so many things this past week. So, I thought I'd give testimony of them so God can get the glory from more people than just me!
I'm Thankful....
1. That I have a wonderful hubby that loves me even when I'm moaning through morning sickness and getting fatter...
2. For morning one on one snuggles in bed with whoever comes in my room first
3. For kids that love to read and leave their books all over the living room, dining room, bedrooms, basement, bathroom, but rarely near the bookcase....
4. For a hubby that I'm still madly head over heels in love with after (almost) twelve years
5. For the ability to have fresh water in our home and not have to go outside to get it
6. For good books to grow my faith
7. For "box dinners" when I can't cook
8. For simple traditions- like wrestling and driving around looking at Christmas lights
9. For the 12th week of pregnancy and the hope that I'll feel better soon
10. For the miracle of the growth of a baby inside a mother's womb
11. For daughters that throw whole cupfuls of water on their fathers when messing around
12. For fathers that know how to tickle little girls till they pee their pants
13. For pimples-cause they keep me humble
14. For maternity pants that don't have huge panels
15. For a hubby that loves buying me clothes- especially maternity clothes (hey, maybe that's why we keep having kids!)
16. For my little boys who run around outside barefooted in December even when I'm hollering to come inside because, for cryin' out loud, IT'S DECEMBER!
17. For kids who can do their own laundry, dishes, mopping, taking the trash out, wash windows, sweep, scrub bathrooms, BUT, physically CANNOT remember to clean their room
18. For God's gentle reminder of MY dependence on Him when I remind them, again, to keep their room clean.
19. For wonderful friends who hold me accountable to reading my Bible... it's such a good thing to have...
20. For having a blog where I can share all this rambling- otherwise I'd never remember to say it all to all of you!

Peaceful Chores

When I found out that BGE was raising our rates substantially, I was trying to rack my brain for ways to cut costs. One way that I decided to give a try is using a clothesline. I've always found them so relaxing and serene whenever we drive past the Amish homes in PA.
So this past spring, Brent, Quinn, and Jake worked together to put one in for me. Some days when it was blistering hot it was very annoying to have to stand out there, but mostly I really have enjoyed it. There is something very peaceful and comforting in watching your sheets or clothes blowing in the breeze. And they do smell so refreshing when you bring them in. AND, you can't shrink your clothes in the dryer like I so often do! LOL!

In some ways it feels like it takes so much longer to get it all done, but in reality, it probably doesn't. I can fit several loads of clothing on my 7 lines without having to wait for the previous load to dry for an hour (old dryers take a loooong time) first. And since I fold everything as I take it off the line, I never have laundrybaskets full of wrinkled clothing sitting and waiting to be put away. Oh, I still have laundry sitting and waiting to be put away, of course, but at least it's folded and I don't have to redry them to get the wrinkles out. (highly annoying!)

2 good sites

This first one is a really good article that speaks to raising modern day pharisees in our children. It was very thought provoking for me (being raised as a "church kid") and more so as we raise our children.

http://www.sfpulpit.com/2007/10/05/raising-pharisees/

This one, Melanie sent to me. It lists some really heart evaluating questions for parents to ask kids to reveal where they are in their spiritual life.
http://theologica.blogspot.com/2007/09/questions-for-kids.html

Filler Post!

I am trying my hand at creating a link list on the sidebar, but I can't figure out how to delete a post! So I'm just filling in the gap I made with this silly post! HA! If someone knows how to delete- Please let me know!

3 Columns!!!

ilyI did it! I did it! (Picture me doing the butter churn!) I made my blog 3 columns!!!! But I had to change the template to something simpler than what I had. If you want to do it too, then go to the website on my sidebar on Blog Tips. Scroll down her sidebar till you get to the link on 3 columns!
It wasn't hard to do, just really nerve-wracking. Don't forget to SAVE your original blog! Follow all her instructions to a tee. Then preview before saving. I did it in Mozilla so I could flip easily between sites!
Have fun!
Now, if I could just figure out how to put that crazy hydrangea picture across the length of my header....

Pioneer Girls Camp

What a flood of memories I had this past weekend! This past year I have been on the Pioneer Girls committee and for the first time attended camp as a committee member. It was Cait's first year at camp too, so it was extra special. I had so many fun memories come back to me while I was there, even though most of the buildings have been renovated or totally rebuilt. I had forgotten about not putting my elbows on the table and I had to "run around the mess hall" during the very first meal! Wendy- our faithful leader!- organized all the kitchen details and everything went so well. We did do a bit of praying over the ground beef to be stretched for the sloppy joes! God did a miracle and we had left overs!

It was really a time of spiritual encouragement for me. Friday night Michelle, Laura Henderson and I stayed up late talking about trusting the Lord and praying for our children's spiritual growth. It was a wonderful time of prayer and tears and encouragement. God is so good to bring women into my life who point me to HIM when discouragement and fears crowd in. I am learning to pray intercessory prayers over the strongholds that are in my kids' hearts and minds. God does mighty work in them when I quit trying to make my kids what "I" want them to be and start being obedient to HIM by praying for what HE wants to change in them and ASKING how HE wants me to respond to the spiritual struggles in their lives. I need to point them to the Holy Spirit more than I have been doing. Curbing annoying behavior only will produce a hypocrite. I am convicted to help them recognize the Holy Spirit's promptings sooner (ahem...not by mom's irritated tone of voice, ahem...) and guide them in "hanging out with God" (as Michelle put it!LOL!) and asking Him for help in walking in the victory that has already been won for them through Jesus Christ.

Saturday night Wendy and I stayed up waaaaaaaay later than we planned. Let's just say it was closer to morning than the previous evening when we finally fell asleep! I know we hardly got any rest, but the fellowship was so sweet and truly I only get uninterrupted adult conversation with other women less than 5 times during a year! So it is worth it! It is wonderful having friendships where you are convicted and encouraged to grow in your walk with the Lord. We talked of how we need friends to hold us accountable to God's word. Even though it is sometimes painful to hear the truth, it is because they love us that the other person says it. I'm so grateful to have a few people in my life that will speak the truth to me even when it is painful.

Anyhow, camp was so fun and Cait had a blast with her friends. It was a lot harder for me to not "hover" than I thought it would be. She did great though!
As a commitee we had really been convicted about not letting camp be merely a fun time, but a time when salvation was heavily presented and choosing a deeper walk with the Lord would be encouraged with the girls. We knew that a significant number of girls were not saved or were not growing in their walk with Him. God is so incredible how he accomplished this! The guides really focused on this in their devotions and the explorers' morning walk was all about presenting the gospel. Dawn spoke at the campfire and did a wonderful job of encouraging the girls to find their "ministry" within serving their own families. Michelle's devotion on Sunday morning was totally a salvation message and ended by breaking into groups of 7 and praying for the girls situations and spiritual walk. God is SO AWESOME!!! One of the girls came to know Jesus through this! We were celebrating her "birthday" at Sunday dinner!
Michelle's devotion provided a wealth of conversation for the ride home and was a time of spiritual growth for Cait. I think she is understanding her salvation in a deeper way because of the weekend's lessons.