Sunday, January 3, 2010

A Roller Coaster Drop...

So everything I've been reading about the adoption process say that it is an emotionally exhausting time. It's full of ups and downs, confusion followed by changes. It's funny, it's even written in our agency's contract that we understand "that our expectations may have to change multiple times throughout the process".  So it isn't surprising that we are starting to experience the roller coaster drop.

Last week we got some pretty bittersweet news. The three children that we'd been pursuing, and had fallen in love with since June, are no longer available for adoption. We can't adopt them. That's the bitter part- for us. The sweet part, though, is that the reason they are not available is that they are being adopted by a Mexican family! It is wonderful for them. They will get a family that will allow them to stay in their culture and potentially get a family faster than if we were adopting them.

It is disappointing for us because we had already pictured them as part of our family. The kids are so sad, but they are handling it well.  It seemed so perfect with the ages and genders, but it was not meant to be. Though we loved them from afar and prayed for them, they were never meant to be ours. I am thankful for the few months that we were connected to them even though they never knew us.

Brent and I both feel peace about it, but it does take some of the excitement out of the process. It makes the waiting easier when there are sweet little faces that you can keep looking at on your computer screen with  names and personalities that you know. Now, we will have to proceed though the next few (or many) months with the trust that God already has our children picked out for us- we just don't know what they look like yet.

It does open up the doors for asking questions such as... Do we still want three? How many boys? How many girls? What health situations will we be willing to take?  Frankly, we just don't know the answer to these right now. We are still in the process of praying and waiting on God to reveal His desires to us. This is a whole new aspect to the adoption process that we didn't think we would have to consider since we found these particular children so early on in our search. Some of those questions are really hard to answer and still be completely open and trusting of God- especially the health issues.

On the upswing of the roller coaster ride....
We had the first interview for our homestudy on New Year's Eve. The social worker couldn't be more sweet! She immediately put us at ease and had the kids laughing and joking in the first few minutes. We have to meet three more times- hopefully over the next week and a half. She hopes to have the report done by the end of January which will be wonderful!
We're still waiting on the bunk bed decision, which will ultimately determine how many children and whether they are boys or girls we can be approved for. So that is actually a blessing since it will help us make our decisions for us! LOL!

So, for now we just continue on the process- surrendering our expectations and desires to Him who is Sovereign and Good. He has chosen our family before the foundation of the world and will bring us together at just the right time and with just the right people. May I continually rejoice in His plan and thank Him for each twist and turn of the journey.


  1. wow, I'm sure that was disappointing news, but isn't is awesome that the Lord is in control and already has everything planned out?! Keep your eyes and heart focused on Him. Glad the homestudy process is going well. I'll keep praying as you have more meetings.

  2. Hey Tiff, AS disappointed as I know you must thing is for sure ...God is in FULL control of this roller coaster ride and he has your kiddies waiting when you get off the ride (hand picked). I am so sorry for the disappointment...I know it must be crushing, but when GOd closes one door...its only because He is opening another door! And, perhaps he was using this precious children...their sweet faces, to grow your faith in this process and get you even more prepared for what is to come!! He has purpose in everything! Can't wait to hear how he sheds light on whats to come....I continue to pray. We are still in the praying process as well. Brian will be going to Nicaragua with a church group in Feb....can't wait to see how The Lord works, what Hes got in store!!!!!(((HUGS)))Proverbs 3:5,6: CLING TO THAT PROMISE@!


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