Wednesday, November 11, 2009

The Roller Coaster Begins

So we began the roller coaster ride of emotions, last week. In Mexico, the government agency in charge of all wards of the state is called DIF. It stands for something in spanish, but I can't remember it. Once our paperwork (dossier) is sent to Mexico, a committee will meet to determine if we are "approved" to adopt in Mexico. Once approved, they will then match an orphan to the family. But, since we are pursuing these particular  children, we will ask specifically for them. Normally, once someone is matched with their child (called getting a referral) they then begin the "loss process". This is when they go through the process to legally terminate parental rights. It can sometimes (often) be a long process while they do this, as often family members are difficult to track down. It also can mean that the parents refuse to terminate rights. It's awful for the adoptive families then, because the referral falls through and they have to start over.

I wanted to find out if the children we are pursuing had started any of their loss paperwork since the agency classified them as "waiting children" on their website. We were SUPER excited to find out that they have had their loss process completed and are fully available! Yay!

BUT, then the roller coaster started heading south. As I was speaking to the caseworker, she mentioned that in the medical report it stated that there should be no other children living in the adoptive home.
WHAT???? I was so sad. We certainly don't meet that qualification. Now, what are we supposed to think? We decided to use this agency specifically because we wanted to pursue these children. We decided to send an email back to the caseworker asking if she'd be willing to contact DIF in regards to that statement. Was it just a "standard protocol" type of statement, or was there a legitimate reason. And, would they possibly consider us? We know it is kind of asking a lot for her to do this, but she said she would.
We're still waiting to hear some results. We know that if DIF comes back and says "No way" then these children were never meant to be part of our family.

But, then we also have to make another difficult decision. In the midst of all the research and paperwork gathering, I got a recommendation for another agency that has a program in Mexico. It's a solid Christian agency that is run more like a ministry than a business. It's very small but also WAY cheaper than Gladney. Like almost 2/3 cheaper. But, they haven't been in business as long and don't have as many contacts as Gladney (which has been around for 120 years). I've heard glowing reviews of them, and spoken personally to the Mexico Caseworker and feel very sure that it's a good agency.

So, if DIF's answer is "no" then we have a big decision to make. Stay with Gladney or switch to the smaller agency- Generations. Of course, we'd be out the $300 Application fee, but we'd save so much in the long run it wouldn't even matter.

So right now, I feel like we're in a holding pattern. I have all my initial documents all signed and ready to hand in to the homestudy agency here in town, but since a few of them are specific to Gladney, I'm hesitant to turn them in just yet. I hate waiting. I feel so unproductive! But, I know God is just using this time to show me that none of this is going to happen on my timetable. Another way of learning to trust Him in the details. Oooo. This is hard.

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